Don't Buy Someone a Saddle Unless they Have a Horse

Ever felt like the giver in a relationship? That's not a bad thing, but it does cause an imbalance when your gifts are being taken without gratitude. There always must be an exchange, and gratitude for a gift is a beautiful energetic response. It is a moment of shining acknowledgement, its what makes giving worth it. You know what I mean, like when you see a homeless person begging for money and you go and buy him a sandwich and he takes with with beaming eyes and says 'thank you' - that's worth it! Unfortunately, homeless people these days (especially in New York) are particular about the gifts they receive, I offered one a delicious cupcake yesterday and he refused (diet?). That's the equivalent to a princess receiving presents and declining things she doesn't want - not worth it.

If you feel like you're constantly giving - in a relationship, in a friendship, at work or in society and you don't feel that you are receiving an equal return (money typically has an equal return to the job done, making it an equal energy exchange), then stop! You're only hurting and draining yourself! If it's not appreciated it's irrelevant. Really. You wouldn't buy someone a saddle if they didn't have a horse, why give someone energy they don't need at your own expense?

If you are feeling depleted, please do something for yourself. Go out for a long lunch, take the time to read or write, go to the movies, get a pedicure and say yes to the extra 10 minute massage. And deeeeeeeply enjoy it while thanking yourself for finally giving you the attention, love, care, and gratitude you've been needing. This is healthy behavior!

You'll finish the day beaming, full of love and appreciation.... so guess what you'll attract? Yep, love and appreciation.

I only recently discovered this 'need for exchange'. I've always been a happy giver in my life, but sometimes what you're giving isn't what the other person needs. Below is a poem I wrote to someone I used to give to, until I realized that I will never be repaid. It's called Emotional Currency:

I overpaid for you.
A price you could never repay.
The cost was too high
In a currency you would never attain.
You knew it and you never said,
Just kept placing your bets,
Forever leaving you in debt,
And me, in deep regret.
But know that I am strong,
Your loss didn’t touch my core.
This year I’ll write you off at my expense,
And won’t think about you anymore.

With Love and Gratitude, Alissa